Turning Setbacks Into Triumphs: The Power Of Reframing Failure

When the word 'failure' is mentioned, what's your immediate reaction? Discomfort? Anxiety? Fear? Shame, perhaps? Or, just maybe... curiosity?

My perspective on failure has evolved significantly over the years. The catalyst for this change was my coaching journey, introducing me to new concepts, diverse ways of thinking, and, most importantly, instilling the habit of regular self-reflection.

I used to perceive failure as something to be ashamed of. I believed that capable and successful individuals didn't make mistakes. Well, I couldn't have been more mistaken. So, if you're someone who strives to avoid failure at all costs, consider this.

What if I told you that failure isn't as detrimental as it may appear; in fact, it can be beneficial? I emphasise 'can' for a reason. To extract positive outcomes from failures, we must view them as learning opportunities. When things don't go as planned, taking the time to reflect on why they went wrong and identifying potential improvements allows us to learn from the experience and enhance future outcomes. This aligns with one of the foundational principles of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP):

'There is no failure, only feedback.'

Recently, I encountered another way to express this concept, courtesy of Matt Abraham. He suggests seeing 'mistakes' as 'missed takes,' drawing inspiration from the film-making industry. Film crews conduct multiple 'takes' of a scene to explore various options. While some may be discarded, there is no negative judgement attached to this decision.

If I haven't yet convinced you of the value in taking risks and embracing the possibility of failure, let me try one more time. Are you aware that some companies not only accept, but actually celebrate, failure? This is true for companies like Google, TATA, and Netflix. Of course, this isn't about reckless decision-making. It's about welcoming calculated risks and viewing 'honourable failures' as opportunities for future growth.

As we come to an end of this month’s newsletter, let me leave you with a question to ponder in the coming days: how might you reshape your view of failures, transforming them into stepping stones for development and achievement?

References

Abrahams, M (2023) Think faster, talk smarter: how to speak successfully when you're put on the spot. London: Pan Macmillan

Hoobyar, T, Dotz, T, and Sanders, S (2013) NLP: the essential guide to neuro-linguistic programming. New York: William Morrow Paperbacks