The Art Of Overcoming: Mastering Limits Through Self-Reflection and Coaching

‘I am not cut out for this.’

‘I do not fit in.’

‘I do not have enough experience.’

‘I am too young / old for this.’

‘I will never be smart / good enough.’

Most of us will have likely told ourselves something along these lines at some point in our lives. In fact, this is the case far more often, and for way more people, than you might think.

Welcome to the world of limiting beliefs. Broadly speaking, these are convictions in the truth of a certain idea or status quo that hinder us from achieving our objectives or wishes. While it's okay for beliefs to prevent us from taking negative actions (like doing something illegal), they become problematic when they hold us back from becoming who we want to be.

Now that we know what limiting beliefs are, we need a strategy to overcome them when they surface. This boils down to two key steps:

1. Identify: Acknowledge that what you are telling yourself is actually just a belief, not a fact. Take time to reflect, being honest with yourself. What evidence is for and against those statements? Consider where these thoughts and beliefs might be originating from. Identifying the source can make it easier to call yourself out in the moment when false beliefs hold you back.

2. Challenge: What's really going on here? Instead of telling yourself that you are not experienced enough, you might actually realise that you simply don't have enough experience yet. Or, if you are going through something that feels insurmountable, by taking a step back you may find that you've overcome something harder in the past. Gather evidence to look at the situation differently. Give yourself time, especially if the situation is causing low mood or energy.

Try this to create alternative beliefs that work in your favour and support you in becoming who you want to be. It takes practice, and you need to work the muscle that makes you automatically ask yourself ‘How is this belief serving me?’. But eventually, you’ll get there.

Much of this work involves taking time to reflect and become more self-aware of your values and beliefs, and how they impact your thoughts and actions. You can do this on your own.

However, sometimes life happens, and personal development takes a backseat. Or other times, you manage to carve out time for self-reflection, but find it challenging to take an objective view. That's where coaching comes in. Working with a coach provides dedicated time and space to focus on yourself, supported by a professional who can hold up a mirror and constructively challenge your thinking.

Whatever you decide to do, remember that investing in your own development is an investment in your own potential.

References

Burnford, J (2019) Limiting beliefs: what are they and how can you overcome them? Forbes. Available from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/joyburnford/2019/01/30/limiting-beliefs-what-are-they-and-how-can-you-overcome-them/. Accessed 10th March 2024.

Manson, M. How to overcome your limiting beliefs. Mark Manson. Available from: https://markmanson.net/limiting-beliefs. Accessed 9th March 2024.

McNally, M (2023) Overcoming self-limiting beliefs: change the thoughts that are holding you back. Psychology Today. Available from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/empower-your-mind/202311/overcoming-self-limiting-beliefs. Accessed 18th February 2024.